What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
