So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
