I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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