we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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