It's like God shit irony all over that family
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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