That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
