we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
