I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
