y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
