okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
