i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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