I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
