And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
