I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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