You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
