I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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