Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
