the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
