non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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