yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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