sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
