bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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