She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
