he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
