so that wasnt chicken after all
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
