One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
