got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
