yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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