so that wasnt chicken after all
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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