they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
