adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
