dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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