Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
