Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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