I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
