He uses pillows to masturbate.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
