i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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