My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
