singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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