were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
