Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just gargled with NyQuil
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
