He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
