So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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