I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
