Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
