..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
