That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
