I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I understand Curling. That high.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
