Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
