Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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