Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
