White coat. Heels.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
