I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
